Millie

Camille Jane Mariyah Fankhauser
Born March 28, 2011
Officially a Fankhauser on October 17, 2011

We chose her name for it's meaning. "Camille" means "perfect." "Jane" means "gift" or "God is gracious". Her biological mother asked if she could also choose a middle name. We wanted to honor her request and found the meaning of the name she chose to also be quite appropriate. Mariyah means "bitterness". And so it was for her.

*Nicki's story isn't ours to share and since we know so few details, there's little to say anyway. She wanted a closed adoption and at the time of Millie's birth, did not want pictures or updates. That has since changed. She asks for the updates every month according to her social worker who works in Little Rock. She has also sent Millie a picture of 3 little boys: her biological brothers, ages 4 and 2 (twins). She looks just like them! As for Millie's biological father, we know nothing.

And now, if you want to read the long version of going to the hospital and all that, here you go. There's also a picture you can look at if you make it to the end.

• At end of November, our plans to adopt Keira's baby fall through and we're very, very sad.

• Sometime the first week of March, Joel tells me he's ready to consider working towards another adoption**. I call Sarah the Social Worker and she says, "great. Figure out if you want to pursue another domestic adoption or switch back to the Ethiopia adoption." We talk about it and pray about it and feel led to adopt domestically.
  

• Sometime the second week of March, we receive an email about a couple of babies who were about to born, and would we prayerfully consider one of them. I called our social worker to let her know we were interested but that we were trying to plan a trip to Costa Rica and this baby would be born before our trip. She advised us to plan the trip because this mom was a very, very young teenager and had expressed that she wanted a family without children to adopt her baby. She also informed us that Ethiopia's Women and Children Division was drastically reducing the number of referrals. Adopting from Ethiopia would be a long and difficult process if we ever wanted to pursue it.
  

• Sometime around the third week of March, our plans for Costa Rica fail. For the first time, I say out loud, "there must be a reason" and I honestly believe it.
  

• March 21, 2001- I send updated copies of our family profile scrapbook

• March 22, we receive another email about a baby that we should prayerfully consider. I replied that we were certainly interested. We had already responded to 4 or 5 such emails. Joel's mom was in town and I told her about it and then tried to put it out of my mind.
  

• March 23, Sarah calls and I will never forget her words, "She chose you! The baby is scheduled for delivery via c-section on March 28". March 28 was 3 days before our trip to Costa Rica was supposed to have ended. Debbie and I spent the next couple of days buying lasagna at Sam's, setting up the pack and play and buying a car seat.

• March 29, we pack up the car as early as we've ever traveled since having 3 children (7am) and head for Little Rock. We drop off Silas, Micah and Liza with Andrea and my mom who drove up to help us. Joel and I head for the hospital. It feels like we waited for hours in the lobby. And then it felt like we waited for hours in the hospital room.

I remember the exact moment I first saw her! Awe of how tiny and beautiful, disbelief that this was happening, then fear that it would end like it had before.

But it didn't end. Millie was discharged as a healthy newborn to Nicki's social worker who then walked with us out of the hospital. Once we were outside the hospital, she would then give us legal custody until the adoption was final. When she was placed in my arms in the parking lot, I started to cry out of gratitude and humility and also a deep sorrow for Nicki that I hadn't expected to feel. I guess it was the magnitude of her decision that finally hit me. In that moment all her rights and responsibilities as Millie's mother were transferred to me.

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Now here we are, nearly 7 months later. Andrea, Anabelle and Ava came with us to court. We shuffled through security, all of us a little cold and anxious. We all practiced saying "yes, your honor" and "no, your honor" just in case. We met our lawyer for the first time. We waited in a waiting room. We entered the judge's office. We answered questions and I began to worry that he might say no. Liza, although not spitting, was running circles around the chairs and giggling. I thought maybe if the policeman would hand cuff her she would be scared straight. Instead the judge asked her a question directly, which she completely ignored.

But then he signed our petition anyway, we took a picture, and it was done.
We are no longer legal guardians, but have been officially declared Millie's mother and father. All the bleeding, sweating, and crying has just begun but we joyfully embrace her as our daughter!***




*Not her real name
**See blog post titled "the Advent" if you need a refresher.
***Congratulations for making it to the end of the post, and the end of the adoption process with us. We couldn't have done all this without your love and support. You deserve a hug.