The Job of Being Human

Here's a list of household rules I've compiled. The consequences for breaking the rules change as needed. Some of them are listed and some are not; but make no mistake- there will be consequences. 

1. you may not ask “why” when  cleaning up

2. no hitting when you’re angry

3. when you start to grit your teeth, you have to go outside and run

4. no squealing as a means of communication

5. no punching through the peapod

6. no feeding Liza food unless directed by a mother or father

7. camping lantern may be turned on at nap time only

8. legos are for rest time only, and only if you’re 4

9. nap time is 2 hours, non-negotiable. Unless you’re 4

10. if you throw food, you don’t get dessert

11. if you throw food twice, you don’t get to finish your meal

12. mom must finish her coffee before she can do anything fun

13. no crafts before breakfast

14. we are ALWAYS gentle to animals and babies

15. when  playing “chase jet chase” or "chase jet car chase” you may not  hit in the face

16. when  standing in a chair to help cook, you wait for directions

17. when someone is standing in a chair next to you, you never push them off

18. when someone is standing in a chair, you may not try to stand in the same chair

19. we don’t jump on beds because that’s one way boys can break their arms.

20. you may jump off the back of the couch, but you may not stand on it for any other reason

21. the couches in the living room are for sitting only

22. you have to have on underwear before you can watch “Dinosaur Train” 

23. if you hurt your brother or sister more than twice in 15 minutes, either by accident or on purpose, you get a restraining order issued against you and you  may not be in the same room as that person or in extreme cases, you may not be on the same floor level

24. if you say your memory verse without any help, you get a milk shake

25. if you don't make a fuss at the door at MDO, you get a surprise in your car seat or booster seat when picked up

26. all toys must be picked up in the play room before playing with play dough

27. don't drink bath water 

28. don't eat sand, waffles off the floor, anything off the van floor, dead dried bugs, live bugs, berries from the yard, and don't ever, EVER even put anything from the creek in your mouth

29. bottles may not be used as baseball bats

30. toys for playing "snowball snowball get" must be soft toys

31. if you throw dinosaur goo, I will use your precious blanket to clean it up

32. if you hit your brother or sister with your precious blanket, I will put your precious blanket in my closet until nap time or bed time

33. until you can afford it replace it if it breaks, no touching the computer

34. we all help clean the kitchen after meals

35. we all help clean up toys 

36. we all help get ready to host small group on Tuesday nights

38. if we eat at the hospital, you must be compliant or you don't get jell-o 

39. I provide many things for you to play with but you are responsible for your own fun

40. if you  break something, I may be sad, but I will not be angry if you tell me before I find out on my own

41. if you pull the curtains out the wall again, you will not be allowed to play in the living room for the rest of your childhood

So I realize I'm a mean mom. But it's my hope that these rules, and maybe a couple I left out, will help our children become compassionate, initiating, responsible people who have fun and love freely because they understand their boundaries.